Special Needs

TJ got pots, pans, and play food for Christmas because he loves to cook.  He had this spread ALL over his room.  Adam Sr. asks him, "TJ, please pick up your toys."  To which TJ replies, "I can't daddy."  "Why not?" is the obvious follow-up question.  TJ elaborates, "Daddy, I don't have FIVE arms, I only have TWO arms, I cannot pick up all that stuff!"

Brotherly love

The kids were playing a video game the other day and began fighting.  It was 2 days before Christmas and we had to be out the door about five minutes earlier for my nephew's birthday party.   I had had just enough and said, "Turn off the game, turn off the TV, and just spend some quality time with one another until we leave."  To which Adam Jr. replies, "But Jen, we don't even LIKE each other."

A season of giving

In our house the boys buy their sisters a gift for Christmas and visa versa.  I took the boys out for haircuts and shopping a few weeks ago while their dad was at the Bengals game.  I saw one of the girls' favorite shops where we NEVER go, so I suggested, "Hey guys, do you want to go to Justice to look for clothes for the girls for Christmas?"

To which TJ replies, "Clothes are not toys mommy, clothes are JUST CLOTHES."

Manners 101

TJ's birthday is in December, so we were preparing for his family party.  In anticipation of a variety of gifts, some which might be clothes, and TJs love for things other than clothes, I decided we should do a little coaching.

Mommy: "TJ what do we say when someone gives us a present?"
TJ:  "Thank you," he answers proudly
Mommy: "Good.  And TJ, what if you don't really like the present, then what do you say to someone who gives you a present you don't like as much?"  I ask tentatively
TJ: "You say, 'No Thank You.' Mommy, because you don't want it."

Not quite buddy, let's just be glad there were no, 'No Thank You's' that night.

More religious education needed

At Larosa's having pizza before we pick out our family Christmas tree, the boys are reading a book my aunt had sent them when little Adam looks up and exclaims, "Jen did you know Jesus's birthday is CHRISTMAS morning!"

To which his sister replies, "DUH.  And he died on Easter."

I correct, "Actually Jesus died on Good Friday and rose from the dead on Easter."

To which Ashley replies, "Now that's just FREAKY,"  as if I had taken things just one step too far.

Be Quiet...what?

TJ informed me the other day, that he had to miss a few minutes of outside time.  When I asked him why he responded, "Mommy, when Miss Joann says 'Be Quiet' she means BE QUIET.  I did not know that."

Guess you do now buddy.

Just what I needed

The night of parent-teacher conferences at school, and I was home with the kids.  I am a little sensitive about being left behind as it is, so after 2 pick-ups, homework fights, dinner fights, and a poopy pants disaster, I was on the edge.  I went upstairs only to realize that TJ's bed was wet and not only had I not even noticed that morning, but now they were not clean and it was getting close to bedtime.  I started to cry.  Without realizing it, Laney had come upstairs.  She asked me what was wrong.  So I honestly answer her, "I guess I am just a little overwhelmed tonight without daddy here to help."  To which she shrugs and responds, "That's ok, that's just how daddy is when you are not here!"

Thanks Laney, good to know its not just me.

Saturday morning cartoons

The other day the kids were discussing what to watch for their Saturday morning cartoons.  TJ says, "I am NEVER allowed to watch Power Rangers, except if Daddy is here."  I roll my eyes, and make a mental note to speak with my husband.  Laney looks right at me, holds her hands out to the side and says, "Can't we just give the kid a break?"

Occupy Bellevue, KY?

All the kids and I were out walking the dog a few weeks ago, and TJ likes to stop and hug each and every tree we pass.  The older kids get quite annoyed by this.  They have told him that dogs pee on the trees, that he is going to get a splinter, and numerous other discouraging comments.  However, on this particular day Adam Jr. just looks at me and says longingly, "When TJ gets older I hope he grows up to be just like me and not still hugging trees and stuff!"

Lapse in posting...

So just  a quick note to let you all know, the following posts are a composite of ones from November and December.  I have been busy, but my lovely sister-in-law gave me a journal so I could jot down my stories and blog on them later.  So you won't have missed a beat...just get a lot of stories at once. 

A grown-up...I think not.

I took this week off work, and TJ and I had a couple of mommy and TJ days before his daddy and I head out of town for some grown-up time.  Yesterday we went to museum, but they weren't open til 10, so we stopped at the zoo.  When we were leaving, TJ asked me a question, to which I responded, "Because mommy is a grown-up."   To which he replied, "No, you are a mommy, not a grown-up."  Ok, I can deal with that.  :)

Choir Star

This morning I was driving the kids to school because Ashley has to be there at 8am for honor choir practice.  She is very proud, as this was something she had to practice for, try out, and be selected.  To be honest, we were a little surprised as we apparently have not recognized her singing talent.  Or maybe we were on to something...

Ash "I really like choir."
Jen:  "That's great.  I am really proud of you.  Are you excited about your upcoming concert?"
Ash: "Yes, but.  Well...I am the worst singer in the whole group.  I mean some of the kids are really good.  Like so good they sound like the old ladies at church singing!"

Awesome.

Drive-Thru Drama

Yesterday after two soccer games, one VERY large tantrum, and a trip to the pumpkin patch, we stopped at Wendy's drive-thru in Ross for FOUR kids meals. As I rolled thru, the kid at the window says, "Wow lady, that's ALOT of kids meals." I answered, "Yep, its ALOT of kids." Obviously he didn't have any or I wouldn't have received FOUR different prizes.

TJ received a book, which was not nearly as cool as the mini pop-a-shot that Laney got.  However, she was not trading with anyone unless she could have Adam's trivia book that came with some laser thing (that was the most annoying toy EVER).  And Ashley was perfectly content to not allow the trade that would end all trades by contending that she really did, in fact, love the plastic robot she received that Adam coveted.  That was a long ride home.

More Boy Humor

This morning TJ says, "Mommy, there is something wrong with my penis?"  I reply, "What honey?"  "It is sticking out in my underwear!" 

The he proceeds to bound down the steps, peaks around to see his daddy and says, "YEAH!!!  I pooped in the potty!!"
Which he did do yesterday, for the first time.

Boys vs Girls

TJ informed me yesterday that Charlie (our new girl puppy) was not cute, she was pretty.  He said, "Mommy, girls are pretty, and boys are cute."  I asked, "So aren't you pretty?"  "No mommy...cause I a boy."

He went on, "Daddy, Adam and I are CUTE, and you and Charlie are PRETTY."  Thanks buddy, I appreciate the compliment, but I pressed on.  "What about Laney and Ashley?"  He replies, "I think they are PRETTY too."   I inquired, "Where did you learn that?"  He told me, "I just know.  Maybe I learned that at school."

TJ's potty mouth strikes again.

Yesterday morning TJ woke up in a wet bed, his pull-up had leaked.  I changed him and carried him to my bed since his daddy was out of town, and we cuddled up.  When we did get up, at the lovely hour of 6:30am, after I got TJ dressed and took the puppy out, I went upstairs to strip TJ's sheets.  He came along to supervise.  We got upstairs and I noticed that his bed and the floor were wet.  I said, "TJ, how is the floor wet too?"  To which he responded, with both hands out to his sides, "What the Hell?"

My thoughts exactly.

Let's pretend

TJ and I were all alone with our new puppy this weekend.  Daddy was on a golf trip and the "guys" were at their mom's.  We went to soccer games on Saturday and saw everyone, and they all went with us to get the puppy on Friday, so I thought TJ was doing fine.  Until yesterday.  TJ and I were in the backyard playing basketball when he instructs me, "Ok mommy, now I am TJ and you are ADAM."  I said, "I am not mommy anymore?"  To which TJ replied, "No.  I want to play with ADAM."

Not a proud parent

Ok, so this is one for the "not so proud parent" scrapbook.

Sunday I asked Ashley, "Please turn off your DS so we can get ready to leave?"
To which Ash replies, "Can I please just finish my game?"
I sigh and TJ jumps in, "Turn off the FUCKING game NOW."

Gasp.   Horror.  Oh no.  DO   NOT   LAUGH.  Whatever you do as a parent, DO  NOT   LAUGH.

Then Ashley breaks out laughing and says, "TJ, I don't think you are allowed to say that.  You should say 'Freakin'." 

"Freakin turn off your game Ashley."  He replies

Great.  I feel so much better now. 

The Sahara

My husband was telling my father on Saturday about our first fight as a married couple.  He was recounting how ridiculous I was acting at the ruins on our honeymoon.  I was trying to defend myself, and stated again that there were one too many stressors during that encounter.  I was tired, it was crowded, I was hungry, and it was UNBEARABLY HOT.  I stated, "I mean, honestly I cannot remember anything about the ruins except that is was the HOTTEST PLACE ON EARTH."  To which my lovely daughter Laney chimes in, "Actually Jen, the Sahara is the hottest place on EARTH, Mexico is just the hottest place that you have been to."

Thanks Laney, but guess what, I googled it and the hottest temperature ever was recorded in Libya.  I will be sure to let her know that on Wednesday when the "petty stepmother has to be right" show airs at the Ruschman household.

Guess What??

I am eating breakfast the other morning and in runs TJ, "Guess what's in my pants Mommy?!"
I sigh. 
He smiles brightly and adds, as he leans on the doorway and sticks his butt out for me to see, "And it's disgusting!!"

Thanks bud.  Then he informed me as I changed him, "When I am free (otherwise known as THREE) mommy I will poop in the potty.  Then you will be proud of me?"

"Yes," I answered, "I will be very proud of you when you learn to poop in the potty.  Maybe you can do that before you are three?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope, mommy.  Free or Five.  I don't know, but not TWO!"

Great, fingers crossed for "free"

Fifth Grade

Dear Fifth Graders,

Just so you know, Ashley informed me that "Drama is for Fourth Graders, not Fifth Graders."  Please abide by this rule for the remainder of the school year.  Thanks,

A Parent in Need of a Drama Free School Year!

Intervention...No more POWER RANGERS

TJ used to only watch Sesame Street.  Once a day, for an hour.  It was glorious. 

Then when his brother was around, he wants to watch whatever Adam Jr. wants to watch, because, well, he wants to do ANYTHING Adam Jr. wants him too.  They have been watching Power Rangers together.  Apparently I remember this series differently than it really is.  I was fine with it, until I started noticing TJ being rather aggressive, and then I watched one of these with him.  It is violent.  And apparently, anything goes as long as you are fighting the "bad guys." 

This weekend we are at Adam's soccer game and I say to TJ, "Tell Adam to hustle and get the ball!"  TJ obliges me and yells, "ADAM.  GET THE BALL OR I WILL CUT YOU!"

WHAT?!??

"TJ, why would you say that?" (and make the scissors motion with your fingers while you do?  and did you really have to do that in front of Grandma, I mean really...thanks)

"I don't know."

Later we had a talk with TJ about how his one hour of TV a day is no longer allowed to include Power Rangers, but Sesame Street or Mickey Clubhouse are on the green light list.  He asks why.  I tell him, "You have been acting a little mean lately.  You tried to punch people, and kick your sisters, and you said you would cut your brother.  Those things are NOT NICE."  To which he replies, "Its ok mommy.  Its ok if they the bad guys.  Want to play?  You be the bad guys?"

Uh, no.  I don't think so.  Hopefully the intervention will be successful and protect siblings and parents from TJ's wrath from this point forward.

What we are learning

On the way to school last week, all the kids are in the car.  We often talk about what we are learning and practice our math facts.  So, Adam Jr. asks, innocently enough, "What is TJ learning in school?"  I start to reply, "TJ, what are you learning?  Numbers? Letters? Shapes?  Colors?"  To which TJ chimes in, "and MONSTERS and BUTTCHEEKS!"  And both boys hysterically laugh for the next five minutes.

I have a parent/teacher conference coming up, and I think I might keep that one to myself.

Adolescence

In the car the other day, it was just us girls.  Ashley busts out with, "Some of my friends were talking about 'peach fuzz' today." 

Oh.  Ok.  So I am somewhere between panic (are we really having more puberty talks already) to pride (I am so glad she feels comfortable talking with me about these things).  So I steady myself and say, "Oh.  What were they saying?"

"I don't know, "she replies, "I don't really know what 'peach fuzz' is."

Ok, I can do this.  "Ash, its just when thin, fine hairs start to grow in places where maybe there hasn't been hair before.  Does that make sense?" (you know, I want to check in for understanding)

"Oh, I get it.  Like on your lip?"  she replies.
"Well, No, I mean, yes, I mean I guess.  I don't really think I have hair on my lip, but if so that would be it, yes.  And well.  OK."

Ashley was flustered too, why was I so defensive.  So I explained to her that 'peach fuzz' can happen lots of places, and etiquette dictates it only really ok to comment on your own, not others. 

And now I am off to the salon for a wax.

Lost

TJ loves to tell us his "big" name.  I am Thomas Yo-sef Ruschman he proudly states.  So, I thought, perhaps best to try and teach him his address next.  In the car on the way to daycare, once after he stated his BIG name, I asked him, "Do you know what street we live on?"  No answer.

"TJ, we live on Foote avenue."  No response.  "TJ, if you ever get lost you might have to tell a policeman where you live, and you live on Foote Avenue."  He looks at me perplexed and responds, "Mommy, I am NOT lost, I am RIGHT HERE!"

Ok.  He got me there.

Terrible Two's AGAIN...

I told TJ, 'That's the answer.' to a question this last week, and let's just say, it was not an answer he enjoyed.  To which he proceeded over to the counter, grabbed the empty (thank goodness) pitcher, threw it on the ground and shouted, 'Answer THAT mommy!'

Drama Queens Need Not Apply

Adam Jr. told the girls yesterday, 'We are having spaghetti for my birthday dinner on Wed (primarily because he knows they hate spaghetti) and you guys WILL eat, you WILL NOT whine, and I don't want any DRAMA QUEENS at my birthday dinner."  Seriously.  He is awesome.

Bomb-Diggity

My dad is, as with Steve Martin in 'Bringing down the house', "so white it hurts."  But, he insists on trying to be cool and hip.  Yesterday at the pool, he told Ashley that he was the "Bomb-Diggity."  She chuckled, and shook her head in the negative.  Really, he insisted, he was in fact very cool.  Ashley thought on this and then replied, "Grandpa, you know you would REALLY be the bomb-diggity if you jumped in the pool with all your clothes on!"

Nice try Ash.  Even the bomb-diggity grandpa is not that cool

Grounded...please be specific

Last week on Thursday evening Ashley left her Nintendo DS on the porch outside (for like the 3rd time).  Since we have spoken to her about taking care of her belongings in the past, Adam Sr. told her she was grounded for 1 week from her DS.

The next day I arrive home on lunch, and the kids are watched by our neighbor.  Ashley is laying on the couch, playing a DS.  I immediately ask, "Ashley, aren't you grounded from the DS?" 

Her quick reply, "Actually, daddy said I was grounded from MY DS, this is Laney's DS."

Uh...excuse me.

So I bartered for her to clean both bathrooms and she could resume DS privileges on all DSs in household. 

Father's Day 2031

Today the kids asked if we could go out to brunch for Father's Day.  I responded that it was up to their daddy, since it was his special day.  They asked Adam Sr. and he said he would prefer to just stay home and have brunch.  The kids were disappointed and Adam Jr. started to pout.  I responded and told him that when he grows up and is a daddy he can do whatever he wants on Father's Day.

He pondered this for a moment, and then his eyes lit up and he had a huge grin.  "When I am all GROWN up and have a wife and my own kids, we are going to go to Chuck E. Cheese EVERY year for Father's Day."

I laughed so hard.  I cannot wait to remind him of this some day when he is ALL GROWN UP!

Mimicking Mommy...

Lately TJ has a way of repeating me at just the WRONG moment.  This morning as he repeatedly put his tshirt on inside out, backwards, and head through the arm hole, I asked again if I could please help him.

"TJ, how about mommy just helps you a little bit so we can get going and mommy can get to work?"
"NO!"
"TJ, buddy, we have to get you to school."
"NO! I do it MYSELF!"
"TJ, mommy is going to count to 5 and then she is going to have to help you just a little."
(and then he responded like I talk to him when I don't like him raising his voice or calling me a booger.)
"Mommy you don't talk to me that way.  Don't talk to me like that.  Talk nicer to TJ!"

Thanks, you booger.

What every 8 year old wants

Adam Jr. had a birthday party on Sunday for one of his classmates.  I took him to Target to shop, and we were kind of in a hurry.  I asked, "Buddy, seriously what does Kyle like, if we think about what he likes that might help us pick out a good present?"  To which Adam looked a little horrified, and responded, "Jen if I tell you what he likes, will I get in trouble?"  Watching the clock tick at 12:57pm, and knowing baseball practice would be starting in 3 minutes with or without us, I responded, "No, buddy, just tell me."  Adam took a deep breath and responded, "Kyle likes girls' boobs."

Uh, OK.  I responded with a terse, "Ok, well how about we get him this Green Lantern action figure, it lights up!"

Taking a group photo...by Lauren

Aunt Lauren tried to take a group photo...

First it was violent, then silly, then everyone else left, but TJ and Ashley were still willing to ham it up!

I am SO LUCKY!

Last week I was driving with just Ashley in the car.  She is growing up to be such a cool young woman.  First she explains to me, as I am exasperated with her brother's behavior, "Jen, its just I don't think Adam understands that he NEEDS consequences.  He thinks he can just say sorry and that's it.  He doesn't know yet that consequences help you learn not to do things again."

Really, you are awesome.

So then I tell her, "Ash, I am really lucky to have you and Laney as my stepdaughters.  You are some cool kids!"

She replies, "Yep, you are.  If you didn't have us then your life would probably be really BORING."

How right she is.

Pow! Bam! What the #?$%?

TJ adores Adam Jr.  No matter what Adam does, TJ will do it too.  No matter WHAT!

Adam and TJ have been watching Power Rangers together.  Well that is coming to a quick end.  For the last two nights at bedtime, as I lovingly carry TJ to bed singing a song, he reaches out and SMACKS me in the face...repeatedly.  All the while saying, "POW! POW!...POW! POW!! Mommy.  BAM!"

I disciplined TJ, and then was talking to Adam Jr. about how TJ really looks up to him.  Adam's had a little trouble lately 'controlling his emotions' as we say, and on Saturday, he ran away from me at the park.  So yesterday, TJ tries to run away from me and run out the door at daycare.  Adam Jr. heard this story, along with the 'POW POW' and he got really concerned.  He had this look on his face that was so touching, like he knew he needed to do better. 

So last night, Adam Jr. is in bed already (a visit to the Principal's office gets you sentenced to early bedtime) and TJ began his 'POW! POW! BAM! attack on me at bedtime.  Adam Jr. gets up out of bed.  I am in the hallway now (seeking cover) and I tell him he has to return to bed.  He says, "Jen, will you tell TJ something for me then?"  "Sure, " I reply. 

"Tell TJ that I wouldn't do that.  Tell him he shouldn't hit his mommy, and that Adam wouldn't do that so he needs to calm down and behave."

"I sure will buddy."  And I was so proud.  "POW!  POW! and BAM!" right to my heart.  What a great big brother.

Sentenced to a Life of Boredom

Friday evening, track meet was cancelled, Ruschman family all home for the evening.  We go to dinner at Gold Star...we even eat there.  Kids were super excited.  Then we come home.  Girls head to park with their friends and the friends sitter.  Adam and I take boys and 2 boys across the street to another park in Bellevue.  The girls then join us at the second park (my kids call it the basketball park, well, because that is where we go to play basketball).  Then we all head home when 3 of the 8 kids have to pee. 

They continue to play outside until about 8:30pm.  Ashley asks if her friend Morgan can spend the night.  Adam Sr. responds, "No, we have a busy day tomorrow too, we'll do that another time."

To which Ashley replies (please roll your eyes, huff, puff, and stomp your feet while reciting), "OH MY GOD.  My life is SO BORING.  I mean, I NEVER get to do anything fun.  Its just BORING BORING BORING.  My life is just going to keep being BORING until the DAY I DIE!"  (more stomping here and she begins to walk away, but is still slightly within earshot) "I have the MOST BORING and MEAN parents EVER!!!"

To which Adam Sr. replied, "Yep.  Keep it up and the 'day you die' might come sooner than you think."  :)

Oh, I cannot wait until she is 16, or in the theater, or both!

TJ sayings...

Ok.  So I know there have been alot of TJ posts lately, but let's be honest...2 year olds are funny.  And, well 9 & 10 year old pre-teens are not.  Just the reality of me being one kid's whole world, and 2 daughters hating my very existance about 70% of the time.  :)

So...TJ has been saying some pretty funny stuff lately, here is a sampling.
___________________________________

At the doctor to get TJ's stitches removed (he ran into the door).

Mommy:  TJ, try and be brave.
TJ:  I will mommy
Mommy: Don't fight the doctor, ok?
TJ:  Mommy, TJ don't fight...Power Rangers FIGHT!  Go Superfly (which some pronounce Samuri)
Mommy:  (mental note....no more watching TV with your brother on Saturday morning)
_____________________________________

TJ LOVES to read Brown Bear, What do you see?
Saturday morning, Adam Sr. got TJ pancakes and put them on his plate.

TJ smiles and says, "Pancake, pancake, what do you see?  I see a PANCAKE looking at me!"  And then took a big bite. 
____________________________________
We are trying to potty train.  Interesting. 

Every morning I say, "TJ, let's go to the potty."  80% of the time, ok, 20% of the time, "No mommy."  So I try and give him and incentive for the right the behavior.  "TJ, if we go to the potty, then we can put a sticker on the potty plate."  "NO MOMMY!"  I try one last time, "TJ, are you sure you don't have to go potty?"  "Yes mommy."  "Ok, I reply (trying not to traumatize him) we can try later."

"Mommy, dat's a good idea!  You are right mommy, we try yater.  Good idea mommy."

Since when did he start rating my parenting ideas?
____________________________________

More, potty humor, so you are forewarned.

TJ pooped in potty one time.  Big celebration.  So yesterday he says his belly hurts and he wants to go poop in potty.  I could not be more proud.  He sits and sits, and then he replies, "I try yater" (his new favorite saying).  I take him in his room and stand him on changing table to put on the pull up.  I reach around him and all of a sudden I scream.  He poops on me.  Seriously like, not poop just got on me, but he is actively pooping while I am trying to diaper him.  Adam Sr. is upstairs, we are laughing, screaming and crying all at the same time.  I get TJ out of his clothes, and pick him up, he turns his head and says, "Ooh mommy, that is a big one!"

Thanks kid.
____________________________

My son...

TJ looks just like his daddy.  He is a carbon copy of his older brother.  Everywhere we go, people comment, "He must look like his daddy."  Yes, I know, my boring brown eyes and light brown hair are no match for his stunning looks.  I get it.  Sometimes, I feel like there are no outward signs that he is my biological son.  I am ok with that, with my stepmom training in tow, I am used to be linked to kiddos without the biological link.  Yet, I still wondered, "Will I ever see myself in TJ?"

Then, yesterday morning it happened.  He was walking around carrying his 'froggy' under his arm.  I said, "TJ, go put froggy night-night."  He looked at me, glanced to his right, then to his left, looked down at the floor and said, "Mommy where is my froggy?"

"Under your arm sweetie."  And I smiled.  My family often tells the story of how I looked and looked all around my grandma's house for my dolly, while they all sat there and laughed, because I was holding her. 

Ironically, I was so proud!

Mommy can fix ANYTHING!

The cable was out yesterday morning.  TJ likes to watch TV while I get ready.  So I told him the TV was broken.  He responded, "What about the big TV?"  (wanting to leave my bedroom and hit the TV downstairs for a little cartoon fix).

I responded, "TJ, Both TVs are broken buddy."
TJ, "Mommy FIX it."
Mommy, "TJ, I can't fix it."
TJ, "Mommy use da screwdiver!"
Mommy, "TJ, I don't know how to fix it."
TJ (exasperated), "Mommy, you just turn it and turn it.  Dat's how you use da screwdiver."

U--nique March Madness Recap

After school I picked kids up yesterday.  Ashley said, "I wanted UK to win the basketball tournament."  I replied, "So did daddy."  Ashley retorted, "Yep, but instead U-nique beat them."

Uh...excuse me?

"No Ashley, the team was not U-nique, it was U-Conn."

"Oh.  Whatever.  What does unique mean anyways?"

Vocabulary lesson here we come. 

What is TJ learning at the Child Development Center?

TJ is a very strong-willed, very verbal 2.5 year old.  This is sometimes entertaining, and sometimes trying, but often both at the same time.

This morning TJ gets up and says, "I want to wear my Bengals shirt."

To which I reply (because he always wants to wear a Bengals shirt, and I thought they were all dirty),
"TJ, since you are learning about animals this week, why don't we wear one of these two shirts, one has dinosaurs and one has circus animals!"
"No.  I want to wear Bengals shirt."
"But TJ, Ms. Kay would LOVE to see you in a shirt with animals on it.  You are learning all about animals this week.  Tell me about some of the animals you learned about?"  (distraction...will it work, please oh please, will it work??)
"I WANT TO WEAR BENGALS SHIRT!" (distraction failed)
"But TJ, what about the animals?"
"Mommy, we not learning about animals, we learning bout FOOTBALL at school.  Bengals shirt!!"

And luckily for him...I found one more clean Bengals shirt buried in the drawer.  Let the lesson plans begin.

Toddlers!

A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law were building a deck.  I offered to watch my nephews while Adam Sr. went to help with the manual labor.  I was a little nervous about have six kids, but I thought it would be ok, and it was.  The night before, I talked with the kids about their cousins coming over.  I asked if they would be willing to help out, because 3 TODDLERS can be a lot of work.  Adam Jr. asked what a TODDLER was, and I replied, "A little kid who is not a baby anymore." 

Before the boys got there on Saturday I again explained to the older three that I was going to need some teamwork from them to help with having three TODDLERS at one time.  They asked if we could go to the park.  "Of course," I replied, "as long you guys help me with the TODDLERS we can walk over to the park."  They were WONDERFUL.  They each took a hand of one of the younger boys and off we went.  Around the corner to the park.  Once there, they each took turns taking the kids up the slide, swinging them on the swings.  It was magical.  We walked home and had lunch.  The older kids helped me to get out plates and the applesauce.  I put TJ down for a nap, down to 2 toddlers.  They decided to relax and we all watched Toy Story and played Legos.  Then Michelle picked up the boys.  It went so smoothly, I could not believe it. 

And then Adam Jr. looks at me and says, "TODDLERS are ALOT of work Jen."

My little comic

TJ was running out of daycare yesterday, saying, "Run mommy!  Run mommy!"  And of course, I did.  HE stopped to do a little dance before we got in the van.  As we got in, I laughed and said, "TJ you are silly."  To which he got very serious and replied, "Mommy, I am not silly, I FUNNY!"  And then he laughed hysterically. 

Potty training

We have been working on potty training this weekend with TJ.  I think perhaps he is taking his sticker reward system a little too seriously when he was sitting there for over 30 minutes.  I kept asking if he was done or wanted to try later, and he just responded, "I keep trying."  Then he said, "Mommy...bring me my truck book!"

Black relatives by TJ

TJ has several relatives with the same name.  To start with, he has two uncle Ben's.

Last week we told TJ, "Uncle Ben is coming to watch you tonight."  He responded, "Which Uncle Ben?"

This seemed like a reasonable question.  So I responded, "Daddy's brother, Uncle Ben.  Not Uncle Ben and Aunt Kim."  TJ responded, without missing a beat, "Oh, the black Uncle Ben."

Really?  Ok.  So, he needs to differentiate.  I responded, "And what about Uncle Ben and Aunt Kim?"

TJ replied, "That is the white Uncle Ben."

Ok.  So...clearly he is two, and while our relatives are not of different ethnicities, we are ok with this.  We decided maybe its because Uncle Ben (the musician) wears alot of black clothes, and the other Uncle Ben is a river boat captain, and so he wears alot of white.   Moving on...

On Sunday morning, TJ had a play thing he was pretending was a phone.  He says, "Mommy...Kevin is on the phone."  I replied, "Which Kevin, Uncle Kevin or your cousin Kevin?"  To which TJ replied, "The WHITE Kevin."

(at this point he is exasperated with me)

I ask, "Which Kevin is the 'white' Kevin?"  He says, "Bradley and Kevin." (this is his cousin).  So I ask, "Who is Kate's daddy Kevin?" (the uncle), and TJ replied, "The BLACK Kevin." 

Uncle Kevin said he prefers to be just called the "godfather", but he will go with whatever.

Ok.

I wondered about me, but when I asked who I am, TJ replied, "You are MOMMY."  He was so annoyed that I even asked.

Cannot wait to see what he tells us next.

Mommy, I hate you (the 2-year old version)

So TJ likes to bonk his bean on the car roof.  Seriously, EVERY time he gets in the car he says, "I bonk my bean...I bonk my bean."  My dad taught him this at a soccer game one day.  Then he jumps and jumps on the seat until he hits his head on the ceiling.  Its awesome.  The other day, I had had enough of his trying, and told him once more was it.  I put him in his seat.  He was ANGRY.  He cried and screamed, and responded with a very angry...."MAMA!  MOMMY!  You are  a BIG BIG BOOGER!!!" 

And I laughed, hysterically.  Clearly, I taught him a lesson because he has started calling me a booger repeatedly ever since.

Unbelievable

Ashley hops in the car yesterday, and I ask, "How was the field trip?"  She responds, "Great, and you know what else, I really do like turkey!"

If this is not making you laugh out loud, please reference, to sleep or not to sleep post.

To sleep or not to sleep?

To sleep or not to sleep? 

That IS the question.

That is the question I ask myself every evening as I settle down with a glass of wine and some good (or deliciously bad) TV/book/other form of entertainment.

And night after night, I chose "down" time, not sleeping time.  Why, you might ask? 

Because I deserve it?
Because I need it?
Because I really enjoy the program/book/etc?

Or because every night I lie to myself about the fact that my 2 year old (who is perfectly capable) is going to sleep THROUGH the night, that the older kids are going to get up and get ready without incident (so of course I can hit snooze), and that if things get tough, my husband will step in and come to my rescue.

The ugly truth reared its head again this morning.  And I thought it might be instructive if I examined the thoughts in my head and how every morning I plan more sleep, but that never seems to be the plan that is carried out.  So here goes...

Adam Sr. awakes and states, "Nice!  TJ slept all night for the first time all week.  His cough must be better."
I respond, "No, on all accounts."
He sheepishly goes on, "Oh...well I did not hear him?"
I respond, "Nope."
He asks, "Ok if I hop in the shower?"
I respond, "Of course."

BUT in my head I am thinking...'WHAT?  Are you kidding me?  I left him cry for 10 minutes because I promised I would stop bringing him to our bed.  The entire time I questioned, "But what if he is really sick?"  I even elbowed you once, but you never moved.  And a SHOWER?  You had a beer after your side job last night, maybe you should have came home then and got a shower?  You reset alarm for 6:45am, and I know you are leaving 7:15am come hell or high water and I am going to be STUCK here trying to get everyone out the door.  Tonight I am going to bed early.  I NEED to get some sleep.  Love you babe!  Yeah right back at ya!'

The morning continues.  Adam Jr. is the kid du jour that is refusing to get ready.  My lovely husband threatens to not take him to boy scout pinewood derby on Saturday if he does not get moving.  I think, 'Really?  Let's try and make threats there is actually some chance you would carry out.  You CANNOT wait to go to that car race with him all day. Oh yeah, and I will have all that time with the girls and TJ to catch up on laundry.  Can't wait!'

But then, the hubby leaves with a kiss and a joke, and we are all laughing as he breezes out the door.

35 minutes later, I get the kids out the door. 
"Yes TJ you can have gold fish crackers for breakfast" 
'Why?  Because I said no 3 times, and I cannot listen to you scream any more before 8am?'

"Ashley, how about we make a deal.  You will take the lunchable, but what if you only eat the cheese and crackers in your lunch for the field trip, and we will add an apple and bag of chips?  Does that work?  Great sweetie!"
'Because I am really sorry that I didn't realize this week that you CANNOT STAND turkey and cheese lunchables.  Next time I want to get ripped off trying to get you some boxed lunch crap special just for your field trip that you reminded me about at 7pm last night, I will make sure to note that.  Although next time it will be some other variety you've told me 100 times that you don't like but I cannot remember.

Then we finally head out the door.  Adam Jr. holds the door for me, (because he is working on being a 'gentleman like his daddy'), Ashley helps TJ find the goldfish crackers he drops in the van, and Laney is excitedly talking about her Meerkat report.  Adam Sr. calls and tells us all that he got a great annual evaluation and a raise, and everyone is cheering!  The girls promise to help me put laundry away tonight, if we can play a game of Sorry! afterwards.  Everyone gives hugs and kisses, and off we go.

And I tell myself,  'Wow I have some great kids.  Maybe we will let everyone stay up a little later tonight.  Oh yeah, and we are going to order pizza to celebrate Adam's raise.  Yep, and then he and I are going to spend at least an hour hanging with each other after the kids go to bed because we haven't seen much of each other all week.  And when my dear hubby goes to bed, I just cannot wait to watch last night's episode of Jersey Short!  Ah....'

And that is why tomorrow morning I will tell myself the same lie as this morning, that I will get some sleep!

Birds and the Bees

TJ called Aunt Kimmy on Saturday and explained to her:

"TJ has a penis.  Mommy has a 'gina'.  Daddy has a penis too.  That is TWO penises Aunt Kimmy, One, Two!"

Boy CAN cook

Last week I was making some extra food to take to some friends/neighbors of ours.  Adam Jr. asked, "Why are you taking Nicki and Dan dinner?"  I replied that Nicki was sick and she needed her rest, so it would be nice of us to bring dinner so she did not have to cook.  To which he replied, "Dan's not sick, he could cook."

I was so proud, and appalled, all at the same time.

31 Party or not?

The other week I told kids I was going out after dinner.  Laney asked where, and I replied, "Aunt Cathy is having a 31 party, so I am going to that."  Laney quickly replied, "Uh...don't you mean a 41 party?  I would think its going to be more like a 41 party."

I explained to her that this is a party for a company called 31 and not a birthday party.  She felt much better, Cathy on the other hand, did not.

Just put your mind to it...

Adam Jr. asks me if he can be a race car driver, I respond, "You can do anything you want to do buddy, just put your mind to it."  He then asks, "Can I punch myself in the balls?"  Sure buddy, just put your mind to it.

Let Freedom Ring!

This morning Ashley went about fixing her hair. 3 barrettes, 2 headbands, and endless water and gel later and she looked...well she looked how you might imagine she looked. So, I just gently suggested that since today was Donuts with Dad at school, and there would be pictures, that just perhaps I could whittle this down to one barrette.

She huffed, and she puffed, and she blew...well you get it. So right before she blew I added, "You can take the clip and other barrette to school and when pictures are over, you can wear your hair any way you'd like, ok?"

She replied, "Finally. Then I will be finally FREE!"

Glad to know that our little chat about equality and Martin Luther King made such an impact on the really important battled they are going to have to fight in life!

Herbivore, Omnivore?

Laney is my pickiest eater. And we try it all. We go through no food battle periods, to just try one bite of everything on your plate, to no dessert for you, to taking requests, having her help cook the meals...I don't know. Nothing seems to work, she just does not really eat dinner.

So in my frustration yesterday I say, "Laney, you don't like any meat, no matter what I make, and you don't like any vegetable, no matter what I make. I asked what you would like, and then I made that, and you still didn't eat. Help!"

She replied, "I am a fruit-a-tarian."
Excuse me!
"A fruit-a-tarian"

WHAT?

She explained, "I made that up, but it means I like only fruit. No meat. No vegetables. Just Fruit. Can I have a kiwi for dinner?"

At this point Adam and I are all about respecting various viewpoints, but I don't think the "fruit-a-tarian" movement is going to get much traction in the Ruschman Household as a long-term meal plan.

What's for dinner?

About a week ago, just TJ and I were at home for dinner. So I inquired as to what he might like to eat for dinner. I was thinking, its just the two of us, I can make whatever he wants within reason. Certainly he will request chicken, or raviolli, or bananas and waffles, maybe some cheese sandwich and applesauce. I was armed with all his favorites. What I was not prepared for was his ACTUAL request....

"Mommy, I want cowboys and tadpoles!"

Uh...ok. I made mac'n'cheese with peas and called that cowboys and tadpoles.

He still didn't eat the peas.

Man to Man Defense Needed

My sister-in-law and I took 7 (yep, that's right 7) kids to the Children's Museum on New Year's Eve. We realized a number of valuable lessons that day.

1. Someone getting unexpectedly splashed with water is almost always funny...to everyone but that person (sorry Ash!)

2. You cannot learn the value of hard work at too young an age. And if you don't like it, well then just take your shovel and hit Chloe in the face with it...oh wait, that was an accident (I am SO SURE)

3. Slides always look fun, and most of the time they are...unless of course you are 30, and then you know what...it kind of hurts.

4. And finally, if there are only 2 adults and 3 toddlers, the toddlers win, EVERY TIME!

Cannot wait to do it again!!

I AM TWO!!

We had TJ's belated 2-year old well-visit today. Before the doctor came in, I was prepping him some.

Show me your chin?
Good. Now show me your toes?
Great, Now show me your belly?

TJ replied, "Big Belly, Big Belly."
I laugh and say, "TJ has a cute belly!"
To which he replies, "Mommy has a big BIG belly."

Thanks.

WWII

We went to Union Terminal this morning to the Cincinnati History Museum today. We learned all about women in Cincinnati's role in WWII efforts. On the way home Ashley asked me, "How old were you Jen during WWII?" She is officially grounded.

Driving

TJ wants to do everything, "myself."

If I try and help wim with jacket, "I do it myself."
If I want to help put shoes on, "TJ do it!"
If I want to cut up his meat, "NO MOMMY!"

So, as you can imagine, we have lots of fun indulging him, distracting him, redirecting him, and sometimes just generally ignoring his requests. Like yesterday, when I said, "TJ sit down and Mommy will drive you to pick up the Guys (what he calls the older kids)."

He responded, "NO Mommy, TJ drive!! TJ DRIVE! I DO IT MYSELF!"