The blended family: Lesson 1

Laney and I were at Kate's house on Sunday (the niece again). One might call it my sister-in-law or brother's house, but I think it is abudantly clear that Kate thinks of this as HER house, and she makes the rules, especially if her mom and dad are away. She even tried to keep me the babysitter in line.

I sat on the couch to feed Nora (her baby sister of 4 months) a bottle. Kate pipes up, "Aunt Jenny? Aunt Jenny? Auny Jenny?" "Yes Kate?" (I answer or it seems she might not go on). "You can NOT feed my sister Nora with your own boob!" "OK Kate, " I reply, thinking that this would be sufficient to end the now awkward instructions. "Aunt Jenny, you can NOT feed Nora with your boob because she is NOT your baby. TJ is you baby. You fed him with your own boob. Not Nora." She then glanced at Laney beside her on the couch, "You fed Laney with your own boob, but not Nora." Laney looks at Kate as if she has 5 heads all of the sudden and responds, "Jen did NOT feed me with her own boob."

Kate: "Yes she did, she's your mom."
Laney: "No, she is not my mom."
Kate: "Yes she is your mommy"

(at this point I am wondering if Kate ever thought it odd that my kids all called me by my first name?)

Laney: "No Kate. She is my step mom. That is like a mommy, and she married my daddy, but she is not my real mommy, like she did not carry me in her belly and she did NOT feed me with her boob."
Kate: "So she's not your mommy?"
Laney (excited that Kate has grasped this difficult concept): "Nope, she is my step-mom, not my REAL mom."

Kate then turns her head, looks over at me and exclaims, "These are not even your REAL kids?" As if to say that we had been duping her for years now with fake cousins. We did some more explaining and I think she's got it now. At least for the moment. Honestly, I am not sure I always have a clear understanding of my role and place in the kids lives, so who can blame her.

But at least we know that they are REAL cousins, that we very clearly established, and boy was she relieved!