The Winning MOM...or winning at being a mom!

Ok, so I have realized lately that with four kids, multiple activities, two parents working outside the home, that we are, well...BUSY. With that, when Adam & I and the kids look back on this blog (like I hope we will) I want to remember that sometimes it took some effort, I mean a real concerted effort to enjoy the ride that is our daily life, and not just look forward to the destination.

Adam and I were talking about this alot the other evening. The real joy of it all is not getting through the work day, the two daycare pick-ups, the dinner out of the crock-pot (with at least one of four refusing to eat), the practice/game de jour, homework, baths, book time, and bed. Sometimes when we are finished with all of that, we want to high five one another on a job well done and retreat to our individual books/online scrabble to unwind from it all. Yet, we realized that you cannot forget to ENJOY the JOURNEY through the day, and not just the time once it is accomplished.

This means that I have to remember that sometimes we grab a hot dog at the ballpark. Sometimes not everyone will have homework followed by flash cards and some 3-D art project completed each day. Sometimes we do math facts in the car. But that's ok. Stop light math is still learning. Most importantly, sometimes we have to let them pick mulberries off the tree and get filthy dirty, even though that means yet another bath night and more laundry. We have to laugh when TJ throws his food across the table and knocks down two glasses of milk, because well....that was funny.

At first, I thought it was a stepmom thing for me. I wanted to have balanced meal on table every night, A+ homework stars, always early to soccer practice, because I wanted THEM (the kids, their mom, Adam, my parents, everyone) to see that I was doing a good job. To see that I was capable of being a mother figure to these little ones, even though I did not birth them. Having TJ has made me realize, I don't know if being a stepmom has anything to do with it.

Then for a while I thought it was being a working mom vs. a stay at home mom. That I was becoming a member of a team in the mommy wars. That it is just too hard to work and have kids. I was certain that if I could just take all the kids to story time on Tuesday mornings at the libray, or take TJ to gymboree (which also only apparently happens for his age group during the work day...but I digress), I was sure that if I could do those things, then I would be happy. I could relax. That my working was why it was hard for me. Then, I looked around at my life, and more concretely at the women on my street. I have a great mix of women who work outside the home and those that don't. We are constantly discussing who has it best. Stay at home full time, work part-time, work nights, little kids, kids in school, full parenting time, split parenting time...the variations on this are endless. The champion is the woman that convinces the others for the moment, that of course, she has things the hardest on the block. And sure, each poses different challenges, but challenges none-the-less.

Recently, I have realized that I think it is just being a parent (biological, step...whatever). For me, its important to step back and realize when then are no longer little anymore, I want to look back and remember the little things that made us all laugh. Its not checking the boxes that lead to the end of the day, but really enjoying the ones you can check off, and giving yourself a break when you miss one or two. I think I am starting to realize that the person with the most checks, does not necessarily win.